summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
