Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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