You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
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sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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