She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
