Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it's great music for shaving your balls
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
