does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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