Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
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This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
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So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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