TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
