see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you didnt know i had herpes?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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