yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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