I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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