Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
