I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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