I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
But break dance skills will only take you so far
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
