connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
