I accidentally had phone sex last night
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
