Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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