I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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