Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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