wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
