So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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