i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
As shirtless as possible
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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