weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
