Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
