If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
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New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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