sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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