you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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