Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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