Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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