I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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