we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
