I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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