I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
