she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
