I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
