Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
