Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
