We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
