Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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