yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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