You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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