new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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