hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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