this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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