well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
