don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
