no, he came in my armpit
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
