My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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