Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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