no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
