maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
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I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
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I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend