Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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