Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize