Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize