great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
