I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
try to milk me bitch
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