i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
