But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
