D3 body, D1 cock
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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